Soooooo. Yeah. I finally spilled the beans. Came out. TOLD MY PARENTS THAT I'M DISCERNING!!!!!
It didn't happen as I had hoped that it would. In fact, it was totally spur of the moment and brought about by a huge emotional breakdown at the kitchen table. But NUNtheless (teeheehee) they know now, and there's no going back...
So how did they take the news? Dad took it pretty well, and he even said, after it had sunk in for a few minutes, that he would be proud of me if I decided that it is my vocation to be a religious sister. Mom, on the other hand.... She freaked out a little and made sure that I was going to continue my education, and I wasn't going to decide that day. (I felt like saying, in a sarcastic tone, "yes, Mom, I'm going to decide tomorrow.") But after calming her down a little, and calming myself down, I think that she is okay with it. When I make nun jokes (which I have been making all along, but now they finally get them) she laughs or comments. She even has been asking questions, which makes me happy to know that not only is she open to it, but she wants to learn more and learn why I might be attracted to it. Dad has been chatting with me about it, and he doesn't seem to mind the idea of me becoming a sister. He has even called me "Sr. Kylie," which I don't mind AT ALL! ;) He has told me where more convents are and where I can find more nuns. (He works in a window business so he has put in windows in convents around here. I call it the Catholic Desert because there are hardly any religious communities and barely any devout Catholics. And it's super tricky to find nuns here. So he's been a great help)
Anyway, a few days later (Sunday the 16th!) I sent in my first ever inquiry form to the community that has attracted me from the beginning - The Sisters of Life in The Bronx, NY. I still haven't heard back from them (it's been one week), so I feel like God is testing my patience with this. ;)
When I posted something on FaceBook about sending in an inquiry form, I was met at school with "Congratulations! You're going to be a nun!" ...(facepalm)... I had to explain to them what an inquiry form is and that I'm NOT applying to become a nun or, (my favorite) starting "training" to become a nun... But after clearing that up, people at school were very receptive to my possible vocation and were interested to learn more, since they've "Never met someone who wanted to be a nun before." (again, the Catholic Desert prevails!)
Now, NOT EVERYONE knows about my discernment. Even though I have told a few people, I like to keep it in my circle of friends and (now) family. However, one of my bosses knows, and my brother's history teacher knows (because her sister is a Salesian Sister, of John Bosco in NJ, who I have been chatting with).
Not that I'm trying to hide it because I'm ashamed. I am NOT ashamed at all! I just don't want more misconceptions about me than necessary. People hardly even know about nuns; they don't know why people "decide" to become one, nor do they know about different orders, charisms, or any other specifics. They have no idea how one becomes a nun, and I get questions ALL THE TIME about if they can have boyfriends, if people are "born into being a nun," or if they can have sex. (I tell you, CATHOLIC DESERT!!!!) And as soon as people find out that you're JUST THINKING about religious life, they automatically assume that 100%, without a doubt, you're going to be a nun. And then they ask you, "but don't you want a family? Children? SEX?" I try my best to educate those who don't know anything about the religious life, when the opportunity arises, and as long as I can't blow my cover completely.
So yeah, I finally told them. And it feels pretty good! I promised that I would keep you posted! So, now you know! :)
Thank you for reading!!
God bless you!
~Kylie P. K. Spinelli